In the classic novel Moby Dick by Herman Melville Moby Dick is thought of by Captain Ahab to be the ultimate evil. Moby Dick is a sperm whale who tore off Captain Ahab’s leg. Throughout the novel Captain Ahab, filled with a lust for vengeance, tries to defeat the whale.
A major theme of this novel is that revenge is not worth it. Throughout the novel Captain Ahab, filled with a lust for vengeance, tries to defeat the whale. Ahab was obsessed with this as his only goal was to hunt and kill the whale. Ahab let this obsession consume his thoughts and he could not find happiness in life until this whale was dead.
Moby Dick clearly represents represents greatness. It is an insurmountable task to kill Moby Dick as he is so giant and powerful. Moby Dick is clearly the villain in the novel as he ripped off Captain Ahab’s leg during a whaling incident and led to the deaths of almost the whole crew. Moby Dick’s attacks are not unwarranted, but he causes harm to many characters in the story and is portrayed by Captain Ahab as complete evil. Moby Dick’s villainy is caused by the whaling crew hunting and attempting to kill it so Moby Dick is not truly evil.
Ahab met another whaler named Captain Boomer who lost an arm to Moby Dick. Instead of being angry and seeking vengeance Captain Boomer was just happy to be alive. The two different responses to being attacked by the two men represent that everyone has a choice to make when they are wronged. They can choose the unfulfilling choice of revenge or they can choose to forgive or forget. It is clear that revenge is not the correct choice as Ahab’s quest for vengeance results in Moby Dick sinking the whole ship, resulting in every man dying except for one lucky character named Ishmael. Captain Boomer chose not to seek revenge and as a result lived a much happier life.
I think I am a little confused as to which prompt you are answering. Next time, maybe put the prompt at the top so that the reader knows exactly which prompt you are answering. You talk about a theme of how revenge is not worth it. However, you also explain how Moby Dick represents greatness and is a villain. Maybe just try to focus on the specific thing that the prompt asks for.
ReplyDeleteI felt that this essay was also a little repetitive and had a bit too much plot summary. In both the first and second paragraph, you repeat the same sentence: "Throughout the novel Captain Ahab, filled with a lust for vengeance, tries to defeat the whale."
On future open prompts, I would try to connect the ideas a bit more and maybe just focus on the prompt instead of covering everything that happens in the story.
I agree with Natalie about putting the prompt at the top before your essay so the readers know which prompt you are responding to. It was a little confusing reading this without the prompt at the top because I wasn't sure what to look for. I think that in the first paragraph, you should probably start with a more formal introduction, such as having a clear thesis, since this is a prompt like on the AP Exam. I feel like you can't really have a good formal introduction with just three sentences, so, maybe try talking a little bit more about the prompt and the specific thing you are going to be talking about.
ReplyDeleteAlso like Natalie said, I felt that you were summarizing the plot a little bit too much. Although it is nice to have some background info on the story, I think that next time you should fous on just answering the prompt, and then adding details from the story as they pertain to the prompt.
I'm not sure which prompt you are referring to. And I'm not sure if I can quite pinpoint an actual thesis in this essay.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you are summarizing the plot to Moby Dick, more than relating how the events in Moby Dick apply to the prompt that was chosen. Are you trying to explain the themes in the novel?
In each paragraph, you only give a brief taste of what your actual points are. For example, it would help your essay if you elaborated as to why Moby Dick was so "clearly" the villain. Using a little more insight, I think your arguments would be more solid.
Now when I get to the last paragraph, I'm still not sure what the actual thesis is. You add in a summary about Captain Boomer, a character who was also a victim of Moby Dick, but who was more optimistic about his disability. And while the rest of your essay might point to one particular essay prompt, I'm not sure how Captain Boomer might relate to the rest of the paper...
I don't see that you are using the peer review comments from last month to improve your work here--this essay is also lacking in specific terminology use, for instance. You need to put the essay prompt at the top of the page so that your peer reviewers know what your are writing about, as the directions for this assignment specify. Please read this month's peer review comments carefully, as your peers have some good comments to offer you.
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